I do, Me too!

We do!

Words for life!  Words that were exchanged in August of 2015.  Words I mean, for better and for worse.  Most people that get married, I’m sure in the back of their minds think it’s for life.  I mean, really, why get married in the first place if it’s not to say to the world and each other that you have undying love and will spend it with your partner till eternity!  I carefully chose the words I said when I got married last summer.  All the hype and timelines and anxiousness leading up to the big event were very real feelings.  I was on a shorter timeline than most and my partner was going to be gone from home for 3 and a half months during the planning stages of the wedding.  He would be home 6 weeks before the wedding and lets face it, almost everything has to be done by then.  Or not!  Those last six weeks were like running a marathon for me.  The adrenalin rush I got from organizing and reorganizing and pinning and searching and doing was amazing even though I was stressed out at times.  I loved planning the wedding, but was not prepared for all the details that had to be taken care of.  A lot of things “fell into place” for us, like meeting the minister that married us at a bridal event that was an unplanned trip together.  Our caterers were carefully chosen as we wanted white glove service and excellent food.  Let’s face it.  This was like planning the biggest party of our lives.  Most important was the chance to have as many family and friends together to celebrate this occasion with us.  Having our grandchildren being a part of the ceremony was important,  having my children there was important and we were not disappointed with the turnout of friends, some we see a lot and some not so often but wish we could see more of that day.  It was an awesome day, everything went off without a hitch except for a few things.  Well one big thing but I won’t post about that today.  I didn’t know about that part till weeks later anyways so my memory of that day, was that it was perfect.  Our guests told us how beautiful the venue was, how good the food and music was and how much love they could see between us during the ceremony and the day of our wedding.  The weather was perfect for our outdoor ceremony and we were in a city park so the kids had room outside to play when they got antsy.  A huge storm hit our city that had the power out for the most customers in our province never mind city the next day of our wedding.  How “lucky” were we to have picked the day we did (or did the day pick us)?  Time to get real.  I was so unprepared for what happened after.  Not the next day, or the next week, but a few weeks later, when company left and we were back at work and our daily regular activities.  What now?  Did this change us?  What will I do with my extra time?  I felt like I wasn’t important anymore, not because my spouse loved me less, but because I had put so much energy and time into having the perfect day that I didn’t know what to do with myself anymore.  I finally figured out I had the “after the wedding blues”.  What, you say?  Yes, that’s what I’m calling it.  I was depressed, I didn’t feel married, I felt like time wound back to before we were even planning the wedding and just living our everyday lives.  I’m not saying I was depressed before the wedding but when we decided on a date and I actually started doing the planning and really had to  make quick and sharp decisions, I felt like I had an important job, a passion was ignited.  Like I mattered to myself and to others, (purely my perception because I know I matter to a lot of people).  I felt good inside, lots of people were asking me questions and giving me advice.  My daughter’s helped me with things, I had my son give me away, all my grandchildren were involved in the ceremony and we had the “perfect day”.  So how do I take that “perfect day” and turn it into my “perfect life”? First I need to remove the word perfect!  Because really it is never all perfect.  There are bumps and hills and forks in each road we need to choose to keep on living, to keep on going.  All those choices make our lives fuller, richer or worse.  Sometimes we make poor choices, that’s ok because we can learn from that.  Or we can go on and keep making those bad choices over and over again.  So slowly I started doing some of the things that were unfinished from after our wedding.  I’m still working on thank you cards (I know terribly long to get them out).  And I am slowly making the changes I need to have my name changed to my legal married name.  That in itself is not an easy thing to do and I can’t believe how many documents and emails and whatever else I need to do to finish that.  I am used to my old last married name and everyone knows me by that name for the last 35 years so when the nurse at the hospital called me by my new last name I paused for a minute.  I smiled inside and I said to myself “yes you are Mrs. M…. now”!  Most of all I am finding some new passions to fill the time I thought was slipping away from me, this time I had before the wedding to spend on the planning that was slipping away from me now.  So I am looking at pursuing some passions I have.  Photography for one, cooking and baking for another.  I am really interested in natural healing and essential oils.  I suffer from chronic pain and this is another reason to venture down this path.  I want to read more books instead of watching so much TV.  I want to eat better, I want to just be a better person in general and to not only be more kind to others but more importantly kind to myself.  I want to do more for my children and grandchildren, for the man I love and married.  I am my own worst critic and so hard on myself sometimes.  I want to see perfection in everything I do and in everything others see.  I want people to like me too much.  But, I am learning to say no when I need to.  I am learning to help others in ways I was afraid to before.  I am learning who I really am, not as someones other half but as a whole person who was born whole and who will die whole.  I am surrounding myself with people that can help me not hinder me and lastly I am getting rid of toxic people and behaviours slowly but surely.  How long will all this take me?  Till I take my last breath. Till my work here is done, till death do us part.  I hope that is a long ways from now because I have so much to do, so much to give and so much to live for!  So no New Years resolutions were made when 2016 rolled around.  I figured I had made and broke too many of those in the past.  Instead, I will slowly make changes, changes I will notice first not changes for others to please them.  Time to work on me.  Time to heal.  And time to love!

I do, me too!

Staying healthy in a toxic world!

Green smoothies, juicing, plant based foods are all part of keeping our cells alive and filled with nutrients so we can stay healthy.  But what about other things we might need to do. Take water for instance. Do you drink enough each day? Do you know what’s in the water you drink? Do you know about alkaline water and keeping the body alkaline so it can heal itself? What about exercise? What role does that play in detoxing the body, if at all? Let’s start with water. Tap water can be dangerous to your health depending on where you live. I don’t drink tap water myself as we have an Enagic water machine that makes our water alkaline and gives us the option to also make acidic water for cleaning our fruits and veggies and also to clean our home. Most people don’t understand the importance of the water they drink but its the most important thing we need to do for our bodies to function properly. Hydration is so important and the saying “if you are thirsty then you have waited too long to drink” is true. Being alkaline also helps us heal our bodies as disease cannot grow in an alkaline balanced body, only in an acidic environment. This has been proven time and time again. So why do people still consume the acidic drinks and juices and eat the wrong foods so often? Mostly because they are not educated to do otherwise. They don’t know the real dangers of drinking that soda every day or even worse the diet soda every day. Tons of sugar or the artificial sweeteners are killing us slowly, making cancer cells viable and feeding their growth.

What’s love got to do with it?

Are you thinking of getting married?  Is it for love or convenience?  Are you just wanting to find a partner because you are sick of going solo to events that seem to be flourishing with “couples”? Are you tired of going to Christmas parties and weddings without a date or significant other? What do you need to do before you get married? Find someone you are compatible with, someone who loves you and cherishes the very ground you walk on? Someone who opens the door for you (because I say chivalry is not dead)! Or do you simply want to get married, to become a couple and have children for the sake of doing it before you are told you are “too old” to have a baby. Yes we have that time bomb ticking inside us that is an internal clock when it comes to motherhood! Tick tock goes the clock, time to have a baby! Do men ever feel this sense of urgency? I doubt it! All most men care about are sex and food, usually in that order. So what’s love got to do with this? Well I think a whole lot for most people. It’s not like it can’t or won’t ever happen, we just have to be open to seeing that person who will make us laugh and be able to be ourselves around. If we think there is the perfect man out there what does that say about us? Are we perfect? I’m not, and I have a lot to learn and things I want to change about myself. But if you don’t love yourself first, I can guarantee you that you won’t find love, real love that is understanding and patient and kind. Real love that is forgiving. Real love that is dynamic and makes you scream sometimes. And the real love that is tender and caring and nurturing.